Reply

Reply to a comment received on my open letter to Jewel Kilcher where I called Stabucks "evil". The comment reads: "Starbucks SO is not the most evil company! They know how to make coffee (tastily) and market it, possibly the smartest company around. You probably never had their coffee! Do you even know anyone who drinks it religiously? I know tons!" and is signed anonymous.
I have ten rebuttals:
1. If you have the balls to call me out, you should have the balls to put your name to it.
2. Starbucks coffee tastes like shit.
3. Why should I pay 4-6 dollars to a corporation that paid maybe 4 cents in cost to some poor-ass Guatemalan farmer. If anybody should get that money, it's that guy.
4. What's the deal with those dumb names for sizes? Is it that important to give some yuppie a thrill because when s/he orders his/her coffee they get to speak pseudo-Italian? For the record "venti" is Italian for "twenty".
5. You can tell how big an asshole somebody is by how they order their coffee. "Cuppa' Joe, black" = salt-of-the-Earth, probably a nice guy. "Tall half-caf', half-fat, soy latte, no sprinkles, double whip" = The worst thing to happen to humankind since crack.
6. Starbucks spread faster than chlamydia through a hockey team. Is it that important to have two Starbucks on the same intersection? Would you lose that much buisiness just by losing the people who are too lazy to walk across the street? What about those people who are kitty-corner to the Starbucks? That's two streets to cross? Isn't that "cruel and unusual punishment?"
7. (In response to "Do you even know anyone who drinks it religiously? I know tons!")
In the City of Regina, Saskatchewan, population 200,000, there are about 2,000 IV drug users. IV drug use is not good. In fact it is so not good that it is bad. And two thousand people sure is a lot. I might be so bold as to say:"In the City of Regina, tons of people abuse IV drugs religiously...AND THIS IS BAD".
8. (In response to "You probably never had their coffee!")- Whether or not I have ever tried their product (I have) is moot. I have never been, seen, nor talked to a Nazi. That does not stop me from judging them as "evil". My lack of experience with Nazism does not mean that I cannot reject that ideology. NOTE: THIS IS NOT AN ATTEMPT TO COMPARE STARBUCKS TO NAZIS. TO DO SO WOULD BE AN INSULT TO THE MILLIONS WHO WERE AFFECTED IN WWII. I AM JUST MAKING THE POINT THAT EXPERIENCE IS NOT NEEDED TO MAKE A MORAL JUDGMENT.
9. Why are you defending Starbucks anyways? Unless you are one of the Executive Officers (page 2) or a lawyer for them, what do you care? Frankly if you feel the need to scour the internet looking for anti-Starbucks sites so that you can defend Starbucks, you need to sit down. Have a chat with yourself. See where your life is taking you. If you see your life as I see your life, this might help.
10. Fuck You. I'm right.