An Open Letter to the Saskatchewan Roughriders Football Club

Dear Riders:
What the hell? I don't pretend to be a football guy other than a fan, but there are some things that I don't understand:
1. What's the deal with the sucking? I mean players that suck here go elsewhere and light up the league (see Thurmon, Elijah; McCallum, Paul), and players we bring in do OK, but nothing compared to what they did before (see Dispersal Draft, Ottawa Renegades).
2. What's up with the hitch pass? It never works. I know you see it work when other teams use it, but it will never work for you. You know why? Watch. Carefully. Next time another team has a successful hitch pass. You see the recievers that don't have the ball? See how they get the defenders out of the way of the guy with the ball? That's called blocking.
3. How is Kenton Keith still on the team. Is it really worth his 3 10+ yard plays for the other 13 times he gets negative yards? Besides that he is cancer in the locker room.
4. Hey defence, remember when you were dominant? I don't.
5. Furthermore defence, forget the zone defence. It never works. Our personnel are suited to man coverage.
6. Can you please go kidnap Jon Ryan from Green Bay. His mom misses him, and we need a punter.
7. Why is Charles Thomas still around? His nickname has been "Turnstile Thomas" for the last four years for a reason. Play Matt O'Meara, he's young, talented, and canadian, so that would free up an american roster sport where we are hurting, namely punter and defence.
8. Why do you shit the bed every big game?

Any representitives from the SRFC feel free to reply to me in the comment board. Or better, start winning more games than you lose.